Drowning in Rose Colored Water
by Lucifer Loves You Not
Summary: Becky is in love with Sam Winchester, she's been in love with him since the first time she held a Supernatural book. And when she first fell into the water of her love for him, it was beautiful. She never suspected she could drown. Onesided Becky/Sam


When Becky Rosen fell for Sam Winchester, it was like falling into a pool of water, and looking up to see the sun shining through the shimmering blue. It was peaceful and she felt like she was floating, as something tugged her downward. There was no question in her mind at that moment; she wants to be with Sam Winchester. Of course, at the time, she thought he was just a character in a book.

Becky has dated several guys, and a couple of girls, she's kissed, screwed, and played with people whenever she got the chance, always keeping an eye out for her dream man, preferably one with an anti-possession tattoo on his chest and floppy brown hair with great big hazel eyes and a height almost doubling hers. She's not picky; she just knows what she wants. At first, none of her partners seemed to care about her obsession. They thought it was weird, sure, and would even tell her so, but some kinky sons of bitches just loved to see her take control and use her toys, until the roleplaying started.

What she wants happens to be a dream. But when she met him, it was like she was being yanked even further into the water, she couldn't hear, her vision became blurry, and there was a brief sense of holding her breath, she has to keep holding her breath otherwise it'll hurt. He was there and he was gorgeous and so warm and inviting. She wanted to hold onto him and never let go. Because on those lonely nights where Becky cried by herself in her room, she'd hold one of the Supernatural books tightly to her chest and think of Sam Winchester and what he would say to her in this situation. Sometimes she'd even imagine his arms wrapping around her. Sam Winchester saved her life on multiple nights when living seemed too hard, too monstrous, as though the demons from the books she reread so often had taken form in every person she's ever known.

But he's real. The fact that Sam Winchester turned out to be real made everything better. She finally had a chance and she took it. She tried to do everything for him, following him around constantly, only wanting to touch, and only wanting a small taste. No, she wanted the world, but she'd settle. As long as she could see him live, watch him work, see him move, she'd be satisfied enough to continue on.

She used Chuck for a while, having sex with him and begging for more information, like who Sam would wind up with and how they can help him. Her constant desire to learn more first caused her boyfriend to be jealous and agitated but after a while he finally broke up with her after she tried to give him the same tattoos Sam has while having sex. Chuck called Becky an obsessed stalker, but she didn't let the words bother her. Instead she kept her eyes on Sam.  
The water is blinding her, Becky can't see anything anymore and when she opened her mouth to scream, water filled her completely, burning her lungs and making her blind eyes fill up with tears, but Becky didn't struggle, not yet.

She kidnapped him, gave him a love potion, and had him all to herself. She was happy. He was everything she ever wanted and so much more. She clung to him and cried, tears streaming down her face as she told him how lonely she's been all her life. He listened so patiently but then it was over. Just as quickly as it began, Becky lost him, and she drowned. Struggling was all too late as he looked at her in disgust and his eyes filled with something akin to hatred.  
"I love you." Becky whispered just before he left.

"Becky," Sam sighed angrily and headed for the front door. "You only love the idea of me."

But he was wrong. The extent of just how wrong he was, Sam never found out, because Becky took off. She couldn't do it anymore, her entire world broke and she died that day. Drowning in a sea of love but it wasn't his. It could never be his. Becky isn't the type of girl anyone would fall in love with. She wiped her eyes and fixed up her clothes before walking back out into the world.

Becky swore never to drown again, instead she looked for someone to burn her, burn her alive. The death won't be as slow and cruel, instead it'll be quick. It'll hurt like hell and she'll cry tears of boiling water, but she's decided that if she's going to die for love again, then she doesn't want to drown anymore. She can't. Maybe she'll meet a kind pyromaniac who will take her in. Or maybe she'll be introduced to Adam.

But one thing she knows for sure, is that her dream is over.


End file.
